*Gulp.*
This may be the first year I’ll literally cringe at saying my age aloud. Maybe it’s the wrinkles on my forehead or that I haven’t followed my meticulous life map I drew out for myself the day I met Nate, but something about that number just doesn’t feel right. Twenty-nine was supposed to be well on the way to being a grown up. We were supposed to have solid jobs with benefits, our cars paid off, one kid and another on the way. I’d stop wearing pajama pants every day and shop more at Ann Taylor Loft than the Disney Store. My vocabulary would be better (See? I would have replaced “better” with something well… better) and I was supposed to have trained for a half marathon in my free time. I was supposed to have free time and cook dinner every night and be the perfect housewife for my husband.
My life may not look anything like it was supposed to, but in most ways, it’s even better than I’d imagined. Sure, we may be on the road more days than we’re home, but this life is pretty amazing. I have to remind myself of that sometimes when I’m working 12 hour days and haven’t said more than a few work-related words to Nate. The pounds I put on while editing the years away are increasingly difficult to shed, especially when so much of our lives are on the road and “healthy eating” means getting the snack wrap at McDonald’s instead of the Big Mac. We moved to a new city two years ago and we haven’t actually had time to make friends- Something I didn’t think much about last year until I wanted to throw a holiday party at our new home and realized how small the guest list would be.
When I turned 28, the inevitable baby talk started getting tossed around by certain friends and family members. We wanted to be parents yesterday, but as I draft this post from Hawaii in the middle of a month-long trip away from home (and proof read it in Asheville, NC), well… The “baby” word doesn’t quite fit in our crazy puzzle of a life yet. I know our friends and family mean well, but I know in my heart it’s just not our time.
All I want for my birthday this year is for well-meaning friends and family to back off that “b” word for a few years. It’s something we think about and look forward to every day, but I need to just love twenty nine for what it is now. I can’t take one more person telling us that we could have a kid now and no one’s ever 100% ready to be a parent and that I’m not getting any younger- Trust me, I know. But I just need to be happy with the me now, because I can’t shed any more tears about not being in the place in life I’d imagined for us this year. Happy someday baby talk is always a good thing, but let’s ease off the pressure a bit. :/
So… Less overweight than twenty-seven, child-less, pajama pants all day, and crazy insanely happily married- This is Jensey at twenty-nine.
And because sometimes we all need a reminder:
Well said, you can never predict where you will be – but you can love where you are. Happy Birthday!
Thanks Meghan! :)
I have yet to meet someone who is “where they’re supposed to be” at a certain age. So live life, be happy and the rest will fall into place. Happiest of birthdays! :)
P.S. Here’s one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite people: “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball. I’m all about the first part and third, but working on the 2nd part. ;)
Thanks for this, Hope! That quote is perfect. :)
Thanks for posting this, Jensey :) I’m 29, it’s not so bad ;),hahaha But I definitely know the pressure you speak of. I just got engaged a couple months ago, prior, I was starting to feel a lot of pressure from people about now being engaged. One day I sort of realized that I was fine with where I was, it was everyone else who seemed unhappy with where I was in life. Listen to your heart and everything will fall into place. We’re getting married next year and would like to start having kids when I’m 31 or 32. Have a very happy birthday, I think you and Nate have the coolest jobs ever!
Thanks so much for commenting, Jo. Always nice to feel like I’m not the only one in this spot! :) And happy engagement!!
Thanks Jensey :) If we lived closer by (we’re in Canada!) I would have booked you and Nate in a heartbeat for the wedding.
Good luck with your wedding! We’ll be shooting one in Toronto this summer- So excited! :)
Your blog often brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. This blog I can especially relate to— also being 29 with no children. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Everything will happen when it’s meant
to happen…
Thank you for your sweet comment, Ashley. I agree, everything will happen when it’s meant to. :)
Wow…Thanks! I’m having a lot of trouble with “where I’m supposed to be” and well meaning expectations(even though its not baby stuff) right now. Its good to know theres more than one of us! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Definitely more than one of us! There always seems to be pressure about *something,* be it to have a boyfriend, get engaged, then have the “right” wedding, a baby, house, baby #2.. It never seems to end! Hang in there. :)
I removed the words “suppose to” from my thought process and vocabulary about 4 years ago and life began to flourish in ways I may have missed had I held on to my own stagnant ideas about age, planning one’s life as a roadmap, and even destiny. I began dancing with time, as opposed to always trying to beat it…and I became a happier person. :0)
Happy birthday, Jensey!
Who was it that said, “Wherever you are…be all there.”
Best comment. Thank you for this, Sarah. :)
I love you and happy birthday! Sorry about being one of the B pushers. Truly sorry. I just want some more Root to love, but I can not agree with you more about knowing in your heart. follow that and do NOT feel guilty about it! Love your friends kids for now ( you can borrow mine ANY day;> ) Yes, you could have one now, and no there is never a good time, but that doesn’t mean it is the time now. Love your life right now, love your body, love your Nate and your crazy days and your awesome photos. You will appreciate all of the craziness one day when you’re sitting there with a baby or two and stuck home because baby is sick. You’ll also love that time too, because you’ll be able to remember all the fun you had and all the fun your future holds. Adventure is out there! We love you, and hope you had a great day!
Trust me – You were not one of the pushers I was referring to! Excited someday baby talk is always welcome! Thank you for your sweet comment. :)
hehehe, i didn’t think my one ..ok maybe two or maybe even three comments did it, but I do know how annoying OTHER peoples expectations for you can be! I’ve had babies at all ages now, it will work when YOU are ready! For now, keep posting that cute hucklepuff!
Happy, happy, happy belated birthday!!!
Just enjoy each and every day!
(You already have a precious baby>>>>>> HUCK!!!!!!!)
Thank goodness for that! :)
Oh, Jensey!
Sweet Girl that I hardly know – but met once at Nick and Jessie’s Wedding!
You are doing great… there is no time table for having all those things you want and that everyone thinks you should have. And really what an amazing life and career you are creating for yourself right now! Not everybody has to do it on the same time table. Some of us have art to create and roads to travel first.
While some of what those pushy loved ones are saying is true (you are never really “ready” to be a parent – eventually you just take the leap) it’s really great that you and Nate know it’s not time for you just yet! When you do decide to be a Mom it will not matter how old you are. That I know for sure, finally getting to have Avery at the very tail end of 39. Our lives take us where we need to be. Enjoy the ride.
Happy Birthday Jensey!! Don’t let that “b” word bug you – because it seems to be the go-to-topic of choice until we’re 50… even after you’ve had one or TWO kids!! Seriously, the next person to ask me if I am planning to have MORE kids may get a dirty diaper thrown at them. Your life is just BEAUTIFUL.
Jamie was born when I was almost 36 – and he turned out to be pretty cool despite how “ancient” I was ;-)
Enjoy your wonderful life – you (and nobody else) will know exactly when the time is right
Love you both!
X
Cami
Jensey, this makes me so happy to read! I’ve just turned 29 too (Happy Birthday!!!). You have the marriage word down & from the pictures & comments you two are always posting it seems to be a very happy “m” word. I am one of 20-25ish grandkids & the only one of a marriageable & baby making age who is still single & childless (much to their annoyance). I have hope that things are headed that way with my someone but until then, I’m happy with the way things are. When I start feeling down I think how lucky I am to have done all the things I have & be where I am today.
Next time I start feeling down about the “m” or the “b” word, I think I’ll read this again & let it lift my spirits! Until then, I’m happy to wait for the good stuff!
Ps. You do have a friend in Tennessee!
I love you writing. It’s awesome. And today, my English teacher was telling us that writing in your own voice produces the best writing. So big vocabulary aside, keep on using “better”! This reminder to be happy where you are at is helpful in my own life as well.
And, well, I just can’t wait for next week! I really can’t! :)
Right!? I have three boys and people keep asking me if I’m going to try for a girl! I already feel a bit like a dog with a litter.
My name is Sarah, and I am a baby-pusher. There are two reasons baby-pushers strike: cold-hearted jealousy of freedom from bathroom companions and the desperate need to initiate a new recruit with a litany of horrifying anecdotes that are shockingly unhelpful. Please direct your local baby-pushers to the nearest cable reality tv show and enjoy you jelly-free carpets.
You guys have an amaaaaaszing life!!! Enjoy every minute of it :) I am ooober jealous of all the things you guys get to do for “work”!
For the record, 1. You are a Mother. Huckleberry Finn would take particular issue with anyone saying otherwise, and 2. You are, well, fabulous. Happy Birthday!
Happy Belated Birthday Dear Jensey!
Hey sweetie, you still have time… trust me… I am getting closer to the big 4-OH… *shudder*… And I have 2 little ones.
So don’t let the baby talk get to you too much. You guys will get there when it’s your time. Don’t think about it too much. Although I do agree that some people will never be ready to have kids (= too chicken = me :D)… LOL!!!
Enjoy your thirties and don’t let anybody make you feel bad. You guys are perfect just the way you are now ;)
lots of luv,
us
I had Parker at 38!! Or was it 37… Anyway, you have oodles of time!! <3
I love you, to the moon and back. . . :)
Happy belated 29, Jensey! I’ve only known you for a short time, but you and Nate are so adorably perfect just as you are! This blog post is just all types of perfect.
Happy really belated birthday Jensey!
I have to agree with your mom :) I love you to the moon and back too!!
Great blog post :) Not that I can totally relate but I can most certainly appreciate where you’re coming from. Don’t let the “b” word pushers bring you down! You’re amazing and wonderful as you are and I know for a fact you have an awesome husband and an adorable “child-pup!” <3
OMG I feel the SAME WAY (yesterday I turned 29 too!). Glad it’s not just me!