I have the best job in the world. I love the people I meet, the places I get to go, and most of all, I love that I get to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with my dreamy husband by my side.
With the good, however, comes some bad: Last year, we were pulling 60 hour work weeks. Unless we were out of town or shooting a wedding, I was working in the office from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. That’s the thing about working from home that never sinks in until you’re doing it- There’s no off switch to your work. We can’t just stop what we’re doing at 5:00, and not think about it again until 9:00 the next morning. On top of that, being in the wedding industry, our weekends are kind of spoken for. ;)
All that aside, I wouldn’t change what I do for the world… But I have to change how I do it. Sometime around Christmas last year, I reached my breaking point. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I hated not having one day off a week (or even a month), but the worst part of all of it was that even though I was spending every minute with Nate, unless we were shooting together, that time together included headphones and editing. 2009 wasn’t pretty, friends.
Then we went to Africa. There’s something completely unique about spending 2 weeks away from your phone, computer, email, work, etc. I went through a serious detox period: The first couple days, I almost felt a panic when I wanted to check my email, Twitter, go on Facebook… And then somewhere around the 3rd or 4th day, I just plain didn’t care anymore. The days started feeling so much longer, so much richer, and I loved the genuine quality time I was getting with Nate and our best friends. I could think more clearly, I was so much happier. I wasn’t breaking conversations by casually pulling out my phone, or thinking of all the things I had to do while someone was talking to me. :/ Before coming home, Nate and I had a long talk about how to free up my life. I knew, like an addiction, it’d be a lot harder to do once the temptation was there, but I was determined to make a change. A big one.
At the time I came home in mid July, I was following over 350 people on Twitter. I’ve since cut that number down to about 50- Really just my ‘real’ friends and a couple random celebrities and such. I went through Facebook and hid about 95% of the people that were showing up in my feed- I really didn’t need to hear about a high school classmate’s hangover, or a rough day a bridesmaid from a wedding was having at work. I didn’t want to unfriend them or anything, just keep them from showing up in my feed. Now only about 40 people show up out of the previous 1400. Finally, I took a machete to my Google Reader- Cut that down from the 500+ blogs I was following to 46.
I’m not even kidding when I say it’s completely changed my life. For one, when I’m editing a wedding and go check Facebook, it takes me less than a minute to see my friends’ status updates. Before Africa, I’d spend close to 40 minutes every couple hours reading statuses from people in my life that I’m not even sure I’d say hi to on the street if I saw them! I use Twitter much more efficiently now, because instead of just reading statuses, if only 2 pop up in my feed, I’m more likely to actually respond to them.
My Google Reader has made the biggest difference. I previously followed the feeds of hundreds of other photographers and wedding planning blogs. I’d spend nearly an hour and a half in the morning alone catching up. Not to mention the 15 other times I’d check during the day. Yes, sometimes I was inspired by those blogs. But you know what I realized? For the most part, they left me feeling depressed. Depressed because I was following all these amazing photographers who made me feel like I’m not as good as them. Like Nate and I were falling short. There was so rarely a good feeling that came out of the hours of my life I was throwing down the drain, that I finally just quit.
Now, I only follow blogs of past brides, or close friends, or less than 10 photographers whom I just plain aspire to be like- But not to the point that it depresses me. After all of this, I’ve gained so much time back in my life. I’ve always wished for more hours in the day, and now I have them. :)
This photo was taken during one of our afternoon game drives in Tanzania- The boys ate a picnic lunch on the roof of our safari truck while we watched the Great Migration. I’m hoping to live more like this every day- Minus the Africa, Great Migration, and safari truck part. :) And who knows- Maybe in a few years I won’t hyperventilate at the thought of starting a family, because we’ll actually have the time to you know, feed the kid. I hear they like that. :)
There are so many reasons I have loved 2010. Being able to see you more, is a big one. Awesome post :)
There are SO many reasons why I love you & your husband without even really knowing you – I just know that you are two photographers who “get” it – and this post proves that. I myself have had to stop looking at EVERY blog – awesome as they might be – because it really just made me feel empty and really (sadly) question my own awesomeness. I am SO glad that you shared this because it makes me feel so much more “okay” with NOT living through Facebook or Twitter or Blogs like so many people do…seriously, I just want to hug you :P
Ive been in LA this week and the experience has been having a similar effect on me (it’s my first time out this way)…my phone died yesterday and my friend said to me, “That is Freedom!!” I couldn’t agree more…it was so much freedom that I almost wanted to throw the charger away!! ;)
Way to go Jensey! I’m so proud of you for using technology to your advantage instead of letting it control you. That is huge! You’ve inspire me to cut out the waste that I spend online…
Hope to meet up with you guys soon!
This was such a refreshing and inspiring blog to read :) Thank you, Jensey!
I loved reading this on your blog. I really felt for you when you said about following photographers that made you feel you fell short. Of course you don’t, you’re amazing (and I’d hire you every day of the week and twice on a Sunday if I could) but that really hit home with me. Some people in my life make me feel like I fall short and I wonder if my life would be simpler with them blocked in some way. I can see how working at home can take up your time…rest assured that when you have a little one, they do the exact same thing! I have no idea how I get nothing done in the day, and now I pull a 168 hour week :)
Seriously though, thanks for writing this. I always think of you as Superwoman. I had no idea you got so low. *hug* If you ever need a break in England, we’re on the (unsunny) South Coast :)
I’m glad you shared this. I’m a reader, so I enjoy following a lot… but maybe I need to start cutting as well. You’ve made me start thinking.
What a lovely blog post! Huzzah to you for re-claiming your very valuable time back! Kudos and everything!
This is just reason # 4728 why I think you (& Nate) are awesome! I cut a lot of stuff out of my time-sucking habits (but, mostly TV shows). Congrats, again!
“Depressed because I was following all these amazing photographers who made me feel like I’m not as good as them.”
I watch tons of photographers and blogs… and you are just as good as every one out there. I understand the feeling of being depressed feeling that you’ll never be as good as the people that you admire… because believe me, I look at your work and Nate’s work… and I think the same thing… I’ll never be as good as you two!
I’m glad that you’ve simplified your life. I feel the pain of my work never ending, it makes me feel guilty everytime I have to tell my kids, “In a minute, mommy is busy working”
I’m just really happy that you guys are doing so well in the industry. So many people are struggling just to make ends meet, much less work in a field that they love!
Oh my gosh! Jensey, this is the very first thing I read after returning from our honeymoon in Italy, without cell phones, iPods, MacBooks, even news! Mike was siting here beside me reading too and I kept hitting him and pointing at certain parts (as if to say, “See?! It’s not just me!). I am so thankful for the forced “detox” in so many ways: not only the constant connectivity, but even in what we were ingesting! We ate REAL food for almost two weeks. We drank water – pure water – with meals (rather than the chemical concoctions known as soda we usually guzzle). Everything about it made me feel better. I’m trying to consciously continue the “calm.” We returned late last night and I still have not checked my e-mail or facebook. It somehow feels like I’m still on my vacation from reality that way. I’m going to in a few minutes, but because I choose to, not because I feel a compulsion to. And THAT, my friend, feels wonderful. :-D
So, in a phrase: Good on ya!
(Hope the move went really well and Huck is loving his new home!)
I am sooo inspired Jensey!! As soon as I read this post I started cleaning out my facebook news feed, twitter, and blog roll. I’ve been doing it for the past hour, and let me tell you, IT FEELS SO GOOD! I am just amazed at how much time I spend looking at useless info instead of doing things in my life. What really hit home was when you talked about looking at other photographers work! I completely agree, sometimes it is more disheartening than inspiring. So thank you for giving me the courage as well to pare down! :)
Congratulations Jensey. I’m proud of you. *hugs*
You are an amazing person (never forget that), and I’m very happy to hear that you are making more time to spend with yourself and the people you love to remember that. You deserve the best and that includes being able to live your life in a way that makes you very, very happy.
Here’s hoping that 2011 will allow you the opportunity to have a round of Earl’s sandwiches with some super cool Canadians… ;) Maybe we can kidnap you and bring you up here for some relaxation and adventure!!!
XOXO
Reason #9745908560 why I love you guys! What an inspiring post to everyone because they can take away so much depending on what they do and where they are in their lives. Great job Jensey!
If there was a like button, I’d check it a thousand times. Life can get crazy hectic doing great things, but you deserve more than anything to take a break to focus on yourself and your family. It’s kind of a reward for becoming super successful :) I’m happy for you both! Enjoy!!
I sit here thinking of a smart, witty response, but can only come up with “thank you.” (And I call myself a writer…)
So, what you’re saying is, we need to go to Africa more often! Love that we’ll be living next door to you guys again…we’ll help you take some time away from work :)
You’re just the best. There, that’s all there is to it. … (( I normally write more, but it seems appropriate to keep it brief given this post. )) ;-)
Good for you Jensey! I love how honest you were with this blog, I think we can all identify a bit with this when life gets crazy. It’s all about simple pleasures!
Love you!!
Jensey, your post couldn’t be more timely for me. Thank you for writing it. I can relate. Trying to run my own business, on top of two other jobs and trying to plan a wedding. I feel like the idea of time isn’t real anymore.
Love the picture. :)
Jensey, I love you. Nate is so lucky. Nuff said, enjoy your extra minutes.
Love it :)